


Gods Have No Mercy, That's Why They're Gods

by orphan_account



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Afghanistan, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Child Death, Corpse Desecration, Crying During Sex, Dark John Watson, Dark Sebastian Moran, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dead People, Dry Sex, Extremely Underage, F/M, Filthy, Forced Ejaculation, Forced Prostitution, John is a Bit Not Good, M/M, Masturbation, Necrophilia, Negative Deptiction of War, PTSD, Painful Sex, Public Sex, Rape, Rape And Wanking, Rape Seen As Attractive, Riding, Self-Hatred, Underage Rape/Non-con, Underage Sex, Violence, War Crimes, porn with no plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:55:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24270184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: John gets off to the memory of rape during his time in the war.
Relationships: John Watson/OFC, Sebastian Moran/John Watson, Sebastian Moran/OMC
Comments: 9
Kudos: 36
Collections: Banned Banned Together Bingo 2020, Banned Together Bingo 2020





	Gods Have No Mercy, That's Why They're Gods

Things hadn't been easy for John once he had gotten home from Afghanistan, he was tucked in a small and janky room that depressed him even more than his mental illness did. His therapist told him things would get better for him as time went on and that life would return to normal eventually, but he was seriously doubting it. PTSD was ruining his life and keeping him from everything that would allow him to go back to whatever normal was. As he laid there in his tight little cot, he refused to fall asleep because that was when the episodes came and he wasn't ready to deal with that again tonight. His mind went to any place other than the night terrors that he had, deciding that maybe it would be best to just get off. Sometimes, it helped him sleep. Thoughts wandered aware from his life to what he could have if he was normal, being buried deep inside of someone's tight cunt or a pair of large tits bouncing in front of him as he was ridden by some beautiful imaginary woman. He hadn't been with anyone since he had gotten back from the war, he was worried he might not be able to perform with someone else. The thoughts tormented his mind constantly and he really did miss being with women like he had been before, but those thoughts weren't where his mind stayed and they weren't what had been getting him off as of late. As much as he hated himself for where his mind went.   
Spending years of his life as an army medic, John had seen a lot of things. Every injury came to him and he also saw the actions of those around him. When he was first recruited, he had good intentions and he carried those with him throughout his time in service. Truly, he believed that everyone around him had good intentions at some point or another, but it seemed that some of them forgot that about themselves. There were a lot of things he turned a blind eye to, either because it wasn’t too big of a deal or the fact that nothing ever happened even if he spoke up about certain things, and violence against civilians was a big one. It seemed like it was so normalized to everyone besides himself, but it left a sick feeling in the back of his throat. His mind always wandered to one other soldier when he was thinking about everything that he had seen, Sebastian Moran who was more feral than any beast that walked the Earth. Scars littered his back in the form of stripes, that and his general prowess on the battlefield had earned him the nickname of Tiger. It seemed so well-deserved too with how brutal Sebastian was, not just with the enemies and those who they were actively fighting against, but with the civilians he had bedded too. There was one Afghan man who would always stick out in his mind, both because he saw them together and because he had to help him in medical after they were finished up.   
Even years later on, John could not say for certain if Sebastian had raped the man, perhaps he had just been rough with him. He was sobbing there as Sebastian fucked him out in the open, fingers mostly dry it had seemed as they pushed into the man, earning shouts in the man's native language. Whatever preparation he was given was not enough for when that cock had finally pushed into him, screams and sobs echoing through the camp as he was fucked out in the open while nobody seemed to mind at all. Scratches and blood littered his body when Sebastian finally finished up with him and sent him to John's medical tent, but he had no clue what to do as those clear eyes stared daggers into his soul. Yet, this young man told John nothing that indicated he wasn't responsive to the advances, but that might not mean a whole lot. From what he had heard, this young man was Sebastian's favorite from his home village, he was always chosen and hauled around with him whenever Sebastian wanted to get off. He seemed to not be opposed to this, but that didn't stop John from feeling sorry for him as he made sure nothing on him was too damaged or prone to get infected. The young man had been so polite too, thanking John profusely once they had gotten done with his examination, praising him for his successful work before he was off and out of the medical tent as fast as he'd come.   
There was another incident with Sebastian that John knew for a fact was rape because there was really no way it couldn't have been, but he still wasn't sure how to feel about it, he felt as though he hadn't done enough to prevent it and yet wasn't sure what else he could have done. One of the younger soldiers had shot a child, a little boy that John estimated to be around the age of eight, it had been an accident as the boy had been mistaken for an animal rustling around in the bushes. An entry wound was found lodged deep within the ribcage, he had told the soldier that the boy had passed away instantly and without suffering, but he had been lying to keep the man from completely breaking as he wept in front of him. He had laid the young man out in the medical tent and had gone searching for information about his family's culture, determined to either find this boy's family or at least give him a proper burial after he had been killed for no reason. This young boy had been tragically killed by mistake, but what was even more tragic and not an accident at all was the condition that he was found in when John finally returned to his tent. Stripped completely naked and with Sebastian Moran's cock down his little throat, the man holding tightly onto the back of his head and thrusting hard, not even seeming to notice or care about the fact that they now had an audience as he defiled this child's corpse.   
"That is enough, Moran." John managed to get out as his eyes were fixed on the older man's movements, though his voice sounded broken and close to tears again. It had hit him harder seeing a child laying out for examination and now Sebastian was desecrating this innocent baby's corpse, defiling him even after he had already been murdered. He felt like he was going to be sick and he couldn't even keep his voice from shaking, sounding so unsure that he didn't believe the other man would listen to him. Even if he didn't listen, what was John going to do to stop him? He was at least a head shorter than this man and far slimmer than he was, he wasn't about to fight him on this, he just hoped that Sebastian would listen to him. However, there was no such luck for him and he swore he could hear him huff out laughter. Sebastian had the nerve to laugh at him for telling him not to continue raping a child's body! "I said enough, Sebastian!" John demanded and tried to put more force behind his voice this time, it earned him a brief pause of the man's movements before they continued right back again and Sebastian spoke to him now. John could tell he had already lost this battle and he couldn't even avert his eyes away from it.  
"If I move away from this body, doctor, you're taking his place beneath me. Is that what you want, you bitch? To have your throat used like the little whore you are too?" Sebastian replied to him, no hint of his words being an idle threat and he didn't even pause or turn his head as he spoke to John. It made him freeze because he knew he should be willing to take a child's place to spare him from suffering, but this was really just a corpse at this point, wasn't it? John was a living person who would actually feel it if Sebastian forced his thick length down his throat and that terrified him, so why was his cock raising so rapidly inside of his uniform pants? A weird mix between the threatening words and the thought of being treated like a toy by this man was making him feel like simply dropping his trousers to fist his prick until he was coming right along with him. His back stayed straight and he stayed silent, trying to will his erection to go down, even though it was impossible as he listened to the wet squelching noises that throat made while he thrusted deeper into it. He closed his eyes and tried to push away the invasive visions of pushing him aside to slide into that throat instead or even taking Sebastian's cock down his own throat, he'd barely be able to taste the saltiness and musk of a man beneath the child's thick saliva that would still be dripping from him as John lowered his head down onto it.   
Sebastian was suddenly letting out a loud grunt that was buried deep in his throat and John knew it indicated that he was finishing down the child's throat, his hips pushing in and out a few more times. When he finally pulled out, he straightened his back and rose to his feet as he did his own pants back up. John's eyebrows furrowed tightly as he was approached, the man practically sauntering with how smug he looked. A pair of wet fingers pushed in between John's lips before he could move away from them, the taste of Sebastian's finish was thick and bitter on the man's fingers. That alone made John feel close to puking and even harder at the same time, though he was trying not to show the latter. Of course, smug and filthy Sebastian seemed like he knew exactly how he was feeling as he stared deep into his eyes before winking at the shorter man. "Take care of the cumrag for me, doctor." He was smirking as he finally left, leaving John there with red cheeks, redder eyes, and the feeling of his heart sinking as he finally saw the state of the boy's body. The body was so pale and so small, laying there completely nude as come dribbled out of his overfilled mouth and that sight made John look away. The blonde man was trying to catch his breath and calm himself down, he was not about to get off to what he had just had to witnessed, but he couldn't deny how riled up all of it had made him.  
As he kept thinking about that specific memory, his hand was rubbing quicker along the bulge in his sleeping pants as he laid there, taking a deep breath as he felt himself getting closer to the edge. He could not count the amount of times he had gotten off to that thought alone, but he wasn't quite there yet and he didn't want to finish thinking about that poor baby again. His mind raced to find something else to think about as his hand moved to cup his bollocks tightly, trying to keep himself from tipping over the edge, but nothing more pure was coming to his mind. In fact, only one memory came to his mind and it refused to leave once it was planted there again, one that he had tried to not think about for a while now. His hand slipped beneath the waistband and wrapped around his hot length, fingers curling tightly around it as he bucked up into his calloused grip. God have mercy, he wasn't going to last much longer, but he tried to keep himself going for as long as he could. His fingers stroked slowly and the pads of them brushed over the wet head, making it easily for him to move along. Blue eyes were closed as he jerked himself off steadily, quiet moans escaping himself, he had been denying himself for way too long and he wasn't going to make it. Heat was already coiling tightly in the pit of his stomach, hips rolling up into his wet grasp, soft slapping sounds filling the room now.   
It was meant to be a present to John, he would never forget anything about what happened on his twenty-third birthday, it was burned into his memory as clear as day. He had been drinking a bit too much and he had let the others encourage him, trusting them enough to let them blindfold him and tie him to a chair, under the guise of them having a lady for him and wanting him to behave himself. They were all laughing together at the time, but John couldn't laugh at the memory now, even if he had jerked off to it until his cock was raw numerous times. Somewhere along the way, John's pants were opened up just enough to get his thick cock out of the front, already hard and wet at the tip just at the thought of having a woman. God, it had been years since he had actually fucked something other than his fist and even that was rare. His happiness was gone when the blindfold was removed from his eyes, staying at the young girl who was stood naked in front of him now. She was absolutely gorgeous in the face, tanned evenly with stunning dark features to match it, but her underdeveloped body and uninterested expression put John off so much. He wanted to pin her down and make her scream for him, of course, but he wanted her to be far older and wanted her to actually want him. Her expression made him look as though he was some tedious chore that she was begrudgingly having to finish.   
"Please." John has gasped out weakly, though the word should be stuck in her throat as he thrusted his hips up a final time as if he was moving involuntarily. He was happy when he finally felt himself pulsing and spilling inside of her, the small body shivering above him and seemingly believing that he was so conflicted about all this. But he knew he was no longer against this, he was the one that was unloading inside of her harder than he ever had before, gasping like a dying man as his hips stuttered. Her tiny fingers wiped his cheeks as she climbed off of his lap finally, standing on shaky legs as she moved away from him. His throat felt even tighter than before when he caught a glimpse of her thighs, covering in his seed and in her own blood. Right them, he had prayed to whatever God there might be that he hadn't been her first, but he wasn't sure which was worse, if he had been or if he hadn't. All he hoped for now is that the others had left her alone once she stumbled out, that none had followed after her and kept on after what had just been forced to happen. He had no way of knowing that, though, and the thought of asking anyone about it later made him feel like he was going to throw up. No matter what he did later on in life, that memory always stuck with him, forever ingrained in his mind as the only time he ever had sex with anyone in the military and it had fucked him up beyond belief.  
The funny thing about traumatic events is that they have a really weird way of manifesting in someone's mind after the fact, information may be skewed and they may believe they aren't feeling how they should about it all. Because it had truly messed John up and he worried that it had permanently broken something inside of himself, something that made him get so hard every time he thought about that birthday. His mind never could leave how tight or warm her body was, completely pliant as she rode his cock as though she was a professional and not just some teenage girl. She was so young too and he wished that didn't make him throb even more with need, his hand always moving just a bit quicker over his length as he thought about how helpless he was to what was happening. He wasn't sure which was hotter to him, the fact that he was raping her or that she was raping him. It was fucked up to consider it that way, but he hadn't wanted it to begin with and he had technically been raped by a little girl, he was completely defenseless to that teenager riding him. Even now, she had such a grip over him that it hurt and had him spilling into his own tight hand. John was sobbing as he rolled over, wiping his hand off onto his bed and praying once more for the Gods to have mercy on them all, but there couldn't be a God if any of this had been allowed to happen in the first place. John simply wept instead. 


End file.
